call me ray

2012-02-12T22:46:00.001+08:00

Well, i have to admit,

i have a pretty fucked up love life.

2012-02-03T00:01:00.002+08:00

i guess, one day, you will finally sees burden within me and decided that ''hey, i should probably get this load away from me'' before u flaps your wings and soar the sky up high, leaving me, a chained ironball down on earth, watching you as i blind myself by the striking sun-ray flying away freely in the sky with happiness.
maybe one day, im not that important anymore, nor do i hold a statue in your heart anymore. just a ordinary guy with a burden-spreading-disease.
maybe one day, i'll thank you for the wonder memories we shared together, where we were best of friends until things goes wrong for me which spilts the distance of us into two seperated continent. we no longer talk to each other, or stayed that close..
Distance may be the only factor existing here.
i guess..

2011-12-16T21:37:00.000+08:00

this feeling is likeme defying gravity. i can never get away, from this love circle.
im afraid to admit, i still does have feeling for you . im sorry that i love you .

2011-11-08T23:12:00.002+08:00

blink of an eye, its sem 2 in poly now.
too many things had happened now and im lost.
utterly lost in this chaotic world..
how i wish, someone is here, to enlighten me, to guide me through.
it seems to me, happeniness ended so much faster and i have a bad feeling, the next sorrow thats about to come, will strike me so hard, i might just collapse and struggles to get up.

im talking about my hamster.
Recently , she has been very lazy. Sleeping wholeday long. i doesnt know what happened to her.
Was playing with her at my new DIY maze just now and she wasnt running around much.
mum says that our hamster is rather old, getting on her age. and might go anytime.
that instant, i just stunned n i just blank out. just nodding to 应酬 my mum, i stares closely at my hamster.. as i slowly brushes her fur, i can feel her body temperature, her heart beat..

Hammie, i've to say.. this 2months spending with you, it makes me very happy. Watching you sleep beside me now makes me feel like giving u a hug. but i cant do that.. as u are still small in size.. I've a wish, to able to sleep with you, beside me on my arms. but i doubt its gonna happen.. all i can say is. i really love you hammie. Please stay strong and accompany me throughout. i know im selfish but, i really need a close companion with me by my side..
i swear i'll breakdown if u ever leave me .
i dreamt of me losing u,
i had 'lost' you once before as u escaped but eventually hide in my room,
i wont wanna lose you again. never.

i can give up on BGR.
but i cant give up on you hammie.
'papa' loves you.

2011-05-16T13:44:00.003+08:00

HELLO LITTLE BLOG! POLY LIFE ROCKS WITH AMAZING FRIENDS :d HAHAHA! :D BUT GOT MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY PROJECTS! BUT I GUESS ITS WORTH IT :D HEHEHE

2011-03-30T21:17:00.003+08:00

Anywhere you are,I am near

Anywhere you go, I'll be there

Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see

How every single promise I keep

Cuz what kind of guy would I be

If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words

If you really don't mean them When you say them

What are words

If they're only for good times Then they don't

When it's love Yeah, you say them out loud

Those words, They never go away

They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me

And I know I'm meant to be where I am

And I'm gonna be Standing right beside her tonight

And I'm gonna be by your side

I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words

If you really don't mean them When you say them

What are words

If they're only for good times Then they don't

When it's love Yeah, you say them out loud Those words,

They never go away

They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near

Anywhere you go, I'll be there

And I'm gonna be here forever more

Every single promise I keep

Cuz what kind of guy would I be

If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close

2011-03-14T09:54:00.002+08:00

wow, it had been some time since i last blogged.
well, nothing much happened in my life from my last post.
more sorrow than joy.. but , ytd was one day that change my life (:
im sure of it .

i do not know if u will be reading it.
i gathered all my courage to type every single words here.
if u does visit my blog, i fear the awkardness feeling that will be awaiting.
however, i decided not to ' puo puo ma ma ' like a sissy.

i am finding a way back into love again.
and i hope, im on the right track,
to be by your side.

i
love
you

2010-09-19T19:42:00.000+08:00

For what it’s worth:

it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be.

There’s no time limit.

You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing.

We can make the best or the worst of it.

I hope you make the best of it.

And I hope you see things that startle you.

I hope you feel things you never felt before.

I hope you meet people with a different point of view.

I hope you live a life you’re proud of.

If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

~ Benjamin Button

Sum 41 - The Hell Song

2010-07-27T22:35:00.000+08:00

2010-07-27T22:30:00.002+08:00

Great song of the day

Sum41 - the hell song

Everybody's got their problems
Everybody says the same things to you
It's just a matter how you solve them
And knowing hot to change the things you've been through

I feel I've come to realize
How fast life can be compromised
Step back to see what's going on
I can't believe this happened to you
This happened to you

It's just a problem that I'm faced with am I
Not the only one who hates to stand by
Complications that are first in this line
With all these pictures running through my mind

Knowing endless consequences
I feel so useless in this
Can't back, stand back, can't ask
For me I can't believe

Part of me, won't agree
Cause I don't know if this for sure
Suddenly, suddenly
I don't feel so insecure

Part of me, won't agree
Cause I don't know if this for sure
Suddenly, suddenly
I don't feel so insecure
Anymore

Everybody's got their problems
Everybody says the same things to you
It's just a matter how you solve them
But what else are we supposed to do

Part of me, won't agree
Cause I don't know if this for sure
Suddenly, suddenly
I don't feel so insecure

Part of me, won't agree
Cause I don't know if this for sure
Suddenly, suddenly
I don't feel so insecure
Anymore

Why do things that matter the mos
tNever end up being our choice
Now that I find no way so bad
I don't think I knew what I had

Why do things that matter the mos
tNever end up being our choice
Now that I find no way so bad
I don't think I knew what I had

2010-07-03T22:18:00.003+08:00

i am deeply concerned about my future career recently.. (wow 1st time)

Had been thinking hard on the course to choose after my o's lvl in poly.
My passion is to be a product designer.
Did a few research in singapore ..
Average pay per month for a product designer is around $1.8k ~ $2k and require at least 5 year experience.

An stable job to get is water technology.
Although i isnt really that interested in water tech
it is a course that enable you to have a garenteed job after getting your diploma cert.
Average pay per month is unsure at the moment
but im sure you can get a job since singapore is lacking of water and NewWater plan is one .

In future, i will be funding myself and my family, means that im the bread winner of the family.
Salary wise is very important. Thus , i wanna make sure i make my 1st step correctly.
Should i go for salary ?
or should i go for my passion?

But the thing that is preventing my negative thoughts for being a product designer is a man called Chris Lee. He is a product designer too, and his gross monthy salary is $50'000 above.
But everything has a price to pay. He invested 23years of his life time on this career before he can becmoe a product designer.

What can i do? ._.

2010-06-20T21:42:00.003+08:00

A guy's heart, is like an open book, only if you read it at a right direction.

a guy can be very persistence when he want to woo or impress his crush.
a girl can also be very persistence to hide her feeling from the guy.
this repeating action results in a never-ending chase.
but, as time passes by..
the guy would feel rather sick and tired of trying to woo this particular girl who is her crush.
but the girl's 'wall' was slowly weakened.
until a certain point, when the guy had finally gotten his love,
he would find that that is not what he was hoping for.
it is not that kind of love he had been craving for all along..
in the end, relationship turns bitter and all that so called love is gone.

THIS IS THE REAL WORLD.

True love nor love ever exist,

Rascal Flatts Why

2010-06-05T21:54:00.001+08:00

i had a sudden urge to post this song lyrics, i dunno why.

title : why by rascal flatts

you must have been a place so dark
you couldn't feel the light,
Reaching for you through that stormy cloud.
Now here we are gathered in our little home town.
This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd.

Oh, why, that's what I keep asking.
Was there anything I could have said or done.
Oh, I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul.
God only knows what went wrong.
And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song.

Now in my mind I keep you frozen as a seventeen year old.
Rounding third to score the winning run.
You always played with passion, no matter what the game.
When you took the stage you shined just like the sun.

Oh, why, that's what I keep asking.
Was there anything I could have said or done.
Oh, I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul.
God only knows what went wrong.
And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song.

Now the oak trees are swaying in the early autumn breeze.
The golden sun is shining on my face.
The tangled thoughts I hear a mockingbird sing
This whole world really ain't that bad of place

Oh why, there's no comprehending.
And who am I to try to judge or explain
Oh, but I do have one burning question
Who you told you life wasn't worth the fight
They were wrong, they lied.
Now you're gone, and we cried

Cause its not like you, to walk away in a middle of a song.
Your beautiful song. Your absolutely beautiful song.

Had i not recovered..?

2010-06-05T00:37:00.002+08:00

today, i had a dream and ifind it rather ridicules and interesting ;x
so,i will post it :D

the story goes like this :
i was in yuhua secondary school doing my dnt with usual peeps. then, a loud ear piercing scream was heard and we can see that almost the whole school was flooded with flesh-eating zombies ._.
so, we managed to secure our ''base'' which is the DNT block by locking up all the gates..
so, we somehow came up with some ideas on how to protect ourself.

as we are in the dnt workshop, we spent a lot of time making sharp weapons using acrylic and metal to somehow '' slice'' the zombies into pieces if they attack us.

somehow, for no reason, i was like the leader of that group.
so i suggested that we should make some shield or some self-defence thingy.
so, we though of the table top, where its rather hard and light. But as the whole school is being invaded by zombies, we decided to fight for our base, climbing from the top passage way that links to the old block, we kill all zombies, and locked the gates .

as we are out numbered, we decided to use every single way to gather more living people and prevent them from being one of the zombies, though the internet, phone calls etc. it works. and we managed to save quite a number of people from the neibourhood and yhss somehow become our base ;x.. but our base had limited space and thus, we require the WHOLE school. and we started to conqure other places of the school and elimate all the zombies and secure the entrence so that no zombies can enter.

our advantures does not end here. we starts to gather more people, esp those with cars,van,lorry. everything. me, who is somehow the head of the squard, came up with many many different squards. namely :

I.T research team
job : research for survivors, search for existing goods, latest news, food availiability, weapons

Carriers
job : transport goods and gather as many food as possible as well as weapons and survivors

Medic
job : heal injury, research on zombie and try to find a way to destroy all

Weapon Departure
job : making weapons, hand-made (dagger,sword,knife etc)

Campers :
job : to camp at hide end area (eg : roof) to prevent intruders

Cooks :
job : to cook and provide food

Transportation squard
job : to transport goods that are delivered by carriers to various places.

At the new block, the classroom are almost filled with either weapon, food or medical needs.

and somehow, 3 years passed, and we are still carrying on our usual activies. but our army grew larger and larger..

thn i wake up le LOL!

thats all ;x bb

2010-05-27T20:15:00.001+08:00

3 MORE DAYS TO MOTHER TONGUE O LVL

Have you studied?
or are u still slacking your way thoughout?

i had decided and determined to read up and write a A1 standard 报章报导！

2010-05-26T22:12:00.001+08:00

lets sing along this unfaithful song

im buried by confusion
my heart pumps with random beats
i dont know who i am anymore.
i dont like the lust my heart is favouring.
i wish to stop everything now.
i hate myself

Draw with Me

2010-05-19T20:04:00.001+08:00

A very touching love-animated series on a boy and a girl being seperated by a unbreakable glass. watch it! im sure it will touch u somehow ;x

Story of the Year - Pale Blue Dot (Interlude) [HIGH QUALITY]

2010-05-11T20:02:00.001+08:00

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena.
On it, everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of,
Every human being who ever was,lived out their lives.
Thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines,
Every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every hero and coward,
Every creator and destroyer of civilization,
Every saint and sinner in the history of our species,
Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that,
In glory and triumph,they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot.
Our posturings, our imagined self-importance,
The delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe,
Are challenged by this point of pale light,
It underscores our responsibility to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot.

2010-05-08T00:14:00.003+08:00

Hello readers. today, i shall make a serious post.
recently, i had been suffering some aching pain at my lower left rib cage and irregular heart beat.
after much of research, i found many possibilities.
they are either viruses, kidney stone or something worst.
as the pain is still bearable, i will wait until it turns unbearable..
i will continue to hide this as i do not want my mother to worry
seeing a doctor is a waste of money and thus, i would not want to waste that huge sum of cash.
it hurt even when im stretching or poking them. its painful but bearable.

if i were to die,
please do not shed tears for me,
live your life happily as i will always remain in your heart.
i just want you to know that all of you are my friends and i love you all.
i am ready to face death, so do not worry about me .

thank you people ,
i love you <3

2010-05-06T21:14:00.002+08:00

我还没忘记你。。我以为自己已经彻底忘了你，为什么你还要一直出现在我的脑海里？
我巴不得想立刻死去，向这个残酷的世界永别。
天知地知你知我知，当晚我们彼此都不是做梦，也不是幻觉，那时你对我设下世上最毒的毒药。叫做“爱情”。。你使我时时刻刻都在想着你，为你伤心难过。

“她真幸福幸福得真惨忍” 真希望你是真的开心。
也希望你离开我的选择是对的。等等，我不能这么说，因为我们彼此都没开始什么，只不过是我自己自作多情。天天无时无刻会发一些白吃的简讯，吓坏了你。

我猜想，你是怕了我才离开我的对吗？

我们，从陌生人，变成了好朋友，又进展成我自己的单恋情，后又变回永远的陌生人。
这个世界真是多种变化。。对吗？。。哈哈。。

你让我了解，这世界没有什么真爱，但我从来就没有后悔过我和你在一起的分分秒秒。。

算命师说我会适应变化，真的是这样吗？。。
我一点也不觉得。

你可以让我忘了你吗？

2010-05-06T17:03:00.001+08:00

today im so bored. so i shall list the 1st ten thousand digit of....

PI ~

3.1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679 8214808651 3282306647 0938446095 5058223172 5359408128 4811174502 8410270193 8521105559 6446229489 5493038196 4428810975 6659334461 2847564823 3786783165 2712019091 4564856692 3460348610 4543266482 1339360726 0249141273 7245870066 0631558817 4881520920 9628292540 9171536436 7892590360 0113305305 4882046652 1384146951 9415116094 3305727036 5759591953 0921861173 8193261179 3105118548 0744623799 6274956735 1885752724 8912279381 8301194912 9833673362 4406566430 8602139494 6395224737 1907021798 6094370277 0539217176 2931767523 8467481846 7669405132 0005681271 4526356082 7785771342 7577896091 7363717872 1468440901 2249534301 4654958537 1050792279 6892589235 4201995611 2129021960 8640344181 5981362977 4771309960 5187072113 4999999837 2978049951 0597317328 1609631859 5024459455 3469083026 4252230825 3344685035 2619311881 7101000313 7838752886 5875332083 8142061717 7669147303 5982534904 2875546873 1159562863 8823537875 9375195778 1857780532 1712268066 1300192787 6611195909 2164201989 3809525720 1065485863 2788659361 5338182796 8230301952 0353018529 6899577362 2599413891 2497217752 8347913151 5574857242 4541506959 5082953311 6861727855 8890750983 8175463746 4939319255 0604009277 0167113900 9848824012 8583616035 6370766010 4710181942 9555961989 4676783744 9448255379 7747268471 0404753464 6208046684 2590694912 9331367702 8989152104 7521620569 6602405803 8150193511 2533824300 3558764024 7496473263 9141992726 0426992279 6782354781 6360093417 2164121992 4586315030 2861829745 5570674983 8505494588 5869269956 9092721079 7509302955 3211653449 8720275596 0236480665 4991198818 3479775356 6369807426 5425278625 5181841757 4672890977 7727938000 8164706001 6145249192 1732172147 7235014144 1973568548 1613611573 5255213347 5741849468 4385233239 0739414333 4547762416 8625189835 6948556209 9219222184 2725502542 5688767179 0494601653 4668049886 2723279178 6085784383 8279679766 8145410095 3883786360 9506800642 2512520511 7392984896 0841284886 2694560424 1965285022 2106611863 0674427862 2039194945 0471237137 8696095636 4371917287 4677646575 7396241389 0865832645 9958133904 7802759009 9465764078 9512694683 9835259570 9825822620 5224894077 2671947826 8482601476 9909026401 3639443745 5305068203 4962524517 4939965143 1429809190 6592509372 2169646151 5709858387 4105978859 5977297549 8930161753 9284681382 6868386894 2774155991 8559252459 5395943104 9972524680 8459872736 4469584865 3836736222 6260991246 0805124388 4390451244 1365497627 8079771569 1435997700 1296160894 4169486855 5848406353 4220722258 2848864815 8456028506 0168427394 5226746767 8895252138 5225499546 6672782398 6456596116 3548862305 7745649803 5593634568 1743241125 1507606947 9451096596 0940252288 7971089314 5669136867 2287489405 6010150330 8617928680 9208747609 1782493858 9009714909 6759852613 6554978189 3129784821 6829989487 2265880485 7564014270 4775551323 7964145152 3746234364 5428584447 9526586782 1051141354 7357395231 1342716610 2135969536 2314429524 8493718711 0145765403 5902799344 0374200731 0578539062 1983874478 0847848968 3321445713 8687519435 0643021845 3191048481 0053706146 8067491927 8191197939 9520614196 6342875444 0643745123 7181921799 9839101591 9561814675 1426912397 4894090718 64942319615679452080 9514655022 5231603881 9301420937 6213785595 6638937787 0830390697 9207734672 2182562599 6615014215 0306803844 7734549202 6054146659 2520149744 2850732518 6660021324 3408819071 0486331734 6496514539 0579626856 1005508106 6587969981 6357473638 4052571459 1028970641 4011097120 6280439039 7595156771 5770042033 7869936007 2305587631 7635942187 3125147120 5329281918 2618612586 7321579198 4148488291 6447060957 5270695722 0917567116 7229109816 9091528017 3506712748 5832228718 3520935396 5725121083 5791513698 8209144421 0067510334 6711031412 6711136990 8658516398 3150197016 5151168517 1437657618 3515565088 4909989859 9823873455 2833163550 7647918535 8932261854 8963213293 3089857064 2046752590 7091548141 6549859461 6371802709 8199430992 4488957571 2828905923 2332609729 9712084433 5732654893 8239119325 9746366730 5836041428 1388303203 8249037589 8524374417 0291327656 1809377344 4030707469 2112019130 2033038019 7621101100 4492932151 6084244485 9637669838 9522868478 3123552658 2131449576 8572624334 4189303968 6426243410 7732269780 2807318915 4411010446 8232527162 0105265227 2111660396 6655730925 4711055785 3763466820 6531098965 2691862056 4769312570 5863566201 8558100729 3606598764 8611791045 3348850346 1136576867 5324944166 8039626579 7877185560 8455296541 2665408530 6143444318 5867697514 5661406800 7002378776 5913440171 2749470420 5622305389 9456131407 1127000407 8547332699 3908145466 4645880797 2708266830 6343285878 5698305235 8089330657 5740679545 7163775254 2021149557 6158140025 0126228594 1302164715 5097925923 0990796547 3761255176 5675135751 7829666454 7791745011 2996148903 0463994713 2962107340 4375189573 5961458901 9389713111 7904297828 5647503203 1986915140 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5256375678

【超扯童話血多】賣火柴小女孩第十五話 In The China White

2010-05-05T20:48:00.002+08:00

This post is made for sam ! sam ! view the video~ if u can understand, i will respect u from now on ! muahhaha !

im starting to love these ancient chinese, sound chim but deep meaning. love it !

2010-05-04T20:34:00.002+08:00

i think im gonna flunk my ss and english paper 1 ):
but i had tried my best though.
ought to study more ._.
dammit !

thats all for today.
nxt monday MYE ! GEOG AND MATHS ._.
another dooms day for me ._.
stupid geog ._.

2010-05-03T19:31:00.001+08:00

die. gonna study ss for tml.

tml mid year exam for ss . rise and fall of venice and deplomacy and deterrence ! argh !

gotta go study now !

byebye !

2010-05-01T00:56:00.001+08:00

hereby, i apologize for what i had done and what had happened today.
juz wasn't in my right state of mind.
but don worry, im still working on it.
sorry if i had make u guys worried, but its not about any topics that u all talked about earlier on.
im sorry.

Here in this town, safe and guarded.
We call it home, a feeling that we share.
Now leave this place, clinging to hope
In this midnight prayer
If we hold our breath, float beyond this
We'll be reborn, I will carry us home

Are you still alive? Are you scared inside?
Providence is blind when you're terrified
Are you still alive? Are you scared inside?
When we've reached the end of the road
I will carry us home

Oh no, if all our sin was only a hop
eAnd meaningless and true
Now will I expire holding the world
In safety for you
If we make it through and I can save you
With this heart I know, I will carry us home

Are you still alive? Are you scared inside?
Providence is blind when you're terrified
Are you still alive? Are you scared inside?
When we've reached the end of the road (Reached the end of the road)
I will carry us home

And now I'm so far away from you
Will I be making any difference after leaving you all alone?
And now I'm so far away from home
Can I justify my actions after leaving you here in this town?
Safe and guarded, we call it home
A feeling that we shared

Are you still alive? Are you scared inside?
Providence is blind when you're terrified
Are you still alive? If you're scared inside (I will carry you home)
I will carry us home
Are you still alive? Are you scared inside?
Providence is blind when you're terrified

Are you still alive? Are you scared inside?
When we've reached the end of the road (Reached the end of the road)
When we've reached the end of the road (Reached the end of the road)
I will carry us home
Carry us home

2010-04-28T21:53:00.003+08:00

i had decided to put in all my effort in maths and chemistry.
physic will be revising during lesson time.
dnt will be done on my spare time which is more on sat and sunday.
humanities will be touched during lesson time.
and i shall aim A1 for maths in mid year
A2 for chinese
A2 for combined science
A2 for dnt
B3 for combined humanities
and hopefully a B4 for english.

ohwell..

人往往走到人生的悬崖时，只会后悔自己之前的糊涂，却不去想想如何补救，直到人以死之间的距离近乎同步，你才开始慌张，到这时一切已经无法补救了。。

2010-04-27T20:12:00.004+08:00

so long bo blog le. lol
was rather packed with homeworks and so on..
im now very very very poor ! D: sad heh?
target : spend less than $4 per day :D

anyway, i wanna resist the temptation of playing dota or any other games now.
i wanna be keen because i wanna STUDY HARD for my o lvl.
i will beat yokeling in combined humanities and maths.
i believe i can do it.
and now, i had come up with my own study plan and i will follow them.
no more fun and games.

homework is my top piority now !

1week more to MYE. so fast ._.

4months more to o lvl. dang, im running out of time.

have to plan on dnt also ! my artefact haven't even started. im sooo dead .
planned to start next week. oh well. i shall end here, byebye

2010-04-10T19:05:00.004+08:00

just another day

2010-04-08T23:03:00.001+08:00

im utterly disappointed .

2010-04-07T21:28:00.001+08:00

i want to learn piano !

2010-04-03T17:41:00.000+08:00

leaving to malaysia in 2hrs time for qing ming jie.
will be back on sunday.
take cares.

2010-03-28T00:28:00.003+08:00

my com had finally been repaired.
but i have to achieve self-control.
i have to study hard for o lvl this year.
o lvl isnt like n lvl and this year is a special year.
you had wasted 1 year of your life in sec 2.
don waste another year.
the school had been looking down on you
and felt that YOU will get bad grades.
PROVE THEM WRONG.
you can do it. if you try.
the only study strargy now is self control.
once u are able to control, you can study without been distracted
dota is fun, but not too fequent.
it will kill you.
so, study hard raymond.
goodluck and all the best !

2010-02-24T18:47:00.001+08:00

stupid com spoile.
people, will be blogging more rarely now.
till i get it repaired.
cyas

2010-02-21T12:26:00.003+08:00

今天，我被一个恶梦吓醒。同时，也感到有疑问。
这是真的吗？

我梦见我在一个shopping centre 看见你和你的男友在一起。
当时，我忍不住便简讯了你，想问个明白为什么你会选择他。
你只说，想和我面对面谈。
当时的我，心情是快乐以及紧张。。

不久，我们再次见面。
我问到：“为什么不选择我，不爱我？”
你停顿一会儿，说到：
“你太弱了！”
我吃了一惊，想你多给我一个直接的答案。
“我爱的人，能够给我安全感，而我和你在一起时，我一点感觉都没有”

我呆住了，
“难道这就是你离开我的原因？”

她说：
“是的”

说完，她转身就走。
看着她的背影，我呆呆的站在那儿看着她和他快乐的手牵手走着。。
漫漫的，从我的视线消失。。

我醒来了，心跳加速。
我问到我自己，难道，这是真的吗？。。

2010-02-21T03:48:00.003+08:00

today, i shall post a new song.
its a very old song, but please bear with me (: i love old and meaningful lyrics song.
and for the sake for samantha. who always complain my blog to be a chinese version one.
i shall post the english meaning i found on the internet tgt as well.

title :
---新鸳鸯蝴蝶梦---
xin yuan yang hu die meng
A new dream of an affectionate couple of butterflies

昨日象那东流水
zuo ri xiang na dong liu shui
Yesterday was like that east water flowing

离我远去不可留
li wo yuan qu bu ke liu
Far from me, could not be held back.

今日乱我心多烦忧
jin ri luan wo xin duo fan you
Today it messes up my heart.

抽刀断水水更流
chou dao duan shui shui geng liu
You cannot cut the water with a knife to stop it from flowing.

举杯消愁愁更愁
ju bei xiao chou chou geng chou
You cannot dispel your worries in wine.

明朝清风四飘流
ming chao qing feng si piao liu
The cool breeze flowing in all directions.

由来只有新人笑
you lai zhi you xin ren xiao
So far there are only brides laughing,

有谁听到旧人哭
you shei ting dao jiu ren ku
Who has heard an old lover cries?

爱情两个字好辛苦
ai qing liang ge zi hao xin ku
"ai qing" (Love), how hard these two words can be.

是要问一个明白
shi yao wen yi ge ming bai
Do you want to ask a sensible person

还是要装作糊涂
hai shi yao zhuang zuo hu tu
Or do you want to pretend to be a fool?

知多知少难知足
zhi duo zhi shao nan zhi zu
Know more or less, who knows enough?

看似个鸳鸯蝴蝶不应该的年代
kan si ge yuan yang hu die bu ying gai de nian dai
Seems like a affectionate couple of butterflies should not last an era.

可是谁又能摆脱人世间的悲哀
ke shi shei you neng bai tuo ren shi jian de bei ai
However, who can shake off the sorrow of the world?

花花世界鸳鸯蝴蝶
hua hua shi jie yuan yang hu die
A world full of flowers and affectionate couples of butterflies

在人间已是颠何苦要上青天
zai ren jian yi shi dian he ku yao shang qing tian
When you are already on top of the world, why do you struggle to reach the blue sky?

不如温柔同眠
bu ru wen rou tong mian
It would be better to take a rest.

2010-02-20T01:57:00.002+08:00

Thanks to jolene, for talking and pouring all the cruel facts to me .
somehow, it helped, and i had finally figured out for myself.
it was all along, me myself, who is the one that keeps thinking too much.
it didnt started, and it never had.
it was my brain and my heart who is thinking randomly and foolishly .
im now back on track,
thou i might still stone for a few seconds where my memories collides,
i will try to be the Raymond you know asap.
thankyou all my friends, for helping me , support me, and care for me .
i love you all <3

and again, thanks jolene (:

' she chosen him instead of you' - quote .

2010-02-18T00:14:00.000+08:00

i lost, to a jackass

2010-02-17T15:28:00.002+08:00

刚回到家。。
前几天都呆在马来西亚，姨妈家。
大年初一，二月十四日。情人节。。
孤单又寂寞。
想念。。只能想念。
天天，无时无刻，我都会想到。。：“如果你在我身边，那该多好”。。
可惜，这么一天，是不会发生的。。

2010-02-13T21:04:00.000+08:00

今天，我又差点哭了。。

2010-02-08T21:23:00.003+08:00

我在一个人的博络格中发现了一篇又感人，有深有意义的文章，让我深深感动，也想借这个机会也试写出一篇问张来。。开头为时间为先。。

时间的漂流。。

我只是一个外黑内白的小子。
踏进裕华中学的那一天，让我接下来的日子变得有喜有悲。

小六会考的假期结束后，心想是时候长大了，别再当个小孩子。。
开学的第一天，在太阳还没起床的当时，我已经准备上学了。

我是个安静陌生但又话多如水的男孩。踏进课室的当时，我东张西望。。我的心露出一阵叹息。
在我的眼角，我看见了和我同一所小学的校友，当时还不亲切，但我们有打招附。
依然，因小学时认识的朋友，已加上自己性格上那偏僻的心神，在班上的前几个礼拜，我发现我无法
和多人沟通，而老师也拼命的在把这个班拉成一团。。渐渐的，我开始认识多一些朋友。

几个月过去了，我认识了多几为朋友，开始回和小学日子一样的生活。。只是，都成熟了许多。
不知不觉，半年过去了，只顾着玩的我不把学业看在眼里，也因为这样，使我留下了百年不忘得悲伤。

突然，在这漂流无忧的日子里，突然来了一个人，他样子傻呆，穿着高高的袜子，高高的裤子，显得可笑。
在那半年到一年的时间，我变得残暴无情。从一个胆小如鼠的家伙，变得爱天天欺负人的流氓。
过这无忧无欲的生活，实在好不过。。生命上的那白色的桥，渐渐被淋下的乌黑大雨，染成了黑色。

日子一天一天过去，大考也显得被时间拉近似的。一转眼，考卷以在我面前。
脑里一片空白的我，看着考卷发呆。心里拼命的安慰自己 “一定会及格的。。”

我错了。。

成绩出炉了。。　眼看着沾满鲜红字母的成绩单，我告诉我自己，是时候读书了。。
但，我又错了。。

假期又来了，在这个班上，有一种一家人的感觉。。天天出门，又玩又疯，好极了。。
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－

开学了，我已升为中二学生。日子和中一一样，只是比以前跟吵了许多。老师升我为管理钱财的“经理人”。
在这个班上，我变成了天天在追债的男孩。但也因为这样，我和这个班，又再一次融合一体。

从一个小时后被小学女同学发出“远离牌”的我，第一次和班上的女同学有说有笑，那种快乐，不知该如何形容。渐渐的，在这个班上，我加入了班上不同的“帮会”的其中一帮派。日子再次添加色彩。

也渐渐的，网上成为了我的第二个家。对网络游戏上瘾的我，被一种痛苦但又充满甜蜜的事物感染上。它叫做爱情。一个从来没有发生过恋情的我，对它当然感到陌生，但又因自己的好奇心，决定尝试这个禁果。。

大考又即将来领，身边的朋友们积极地读书，冲来没为考试感到紧张的我，一再以一致的心态玩乐。

脑海空白的我，就像带着一双从没握过的双节棍冲到敌人的面前大耍生手，结果只被人当笑话，在大众中当上了无意的小丑。

鲜红的考卷再次回到我的手中。。

我哭了。

当时，心情就像漂流在茫茫大海上的一个空瓶子，不知如何是好。
我被降级了。。

－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－

中三的日子，被派到一个非常陌生的环境，自己远离了同伴好友们，心灵传来一阵刺痛。
我痛恨上学。我痛恨我自己。我尝试自杀。但我改变不了事实。。
前几天，在学校的日子的我，活着像个活死人似的，没生命。。
回到家，二话不说就把时间都花在电脑前。因为认识了许多来自不同地带的女网友，也因小时候的那种被女生避开的障碍，突然有女生愿意当我的朋友，我变成了长出翅膀的蝴蝶。

在学校的日子，乌云胀气。。一点都没有上学的气氛，天天只想快快回家。
我开始了爱情，也开始在做年轻人做的事。。
爱情，痛苦，悲伤。
真爱呀。。　我真的握到你的手了吗？
每一个恋情，我都把它当成真爱。。谁知，我在爱情的道路上，只是刚走两步的棋子。。

学业上，我没问题，也没疑问，做的都是中一中二学过的。
很有信心的，我升上了中四。

－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－

中四，那短短的一年。。　对我带来的却是二十年的愁。。
中二，迷上网络的我，认识的人多得数不清。

我已一个爱帮助别人的心，过度了一生。。
也因为我爱帮助别人，我不自不觉把这成为了一个习惯。
也因这样，我认识了她。。
年尾，Ｎ水准顺顺利利过去了。
时间过得太快了，　我仿佛已经落在时间后面的追赶。
像过这大人的生活的我，找到了工作，便过这像个大人的生活。
是累，也是喜。

有一天，你突然又出现在我的生命里，我又有一个伴有了。
你对我，少过一个礼拜的认识，却给了我一种像是百年相遇的信任。
一天，我们见面了。。

一天，有一天。我们一起出门就像喝茶吃饭一样。
我发现，我的心不能没有你。。

－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－
过这一个不自知是真爱还是初恋的爱情道路，我显得害怕。怕又再受伤害。。
但，我的心，那单纯好奇的心，想看下去这个爱情故事的结尾。
那一天晚上，我看着欣和星。。　沉默的思想起来。。
半信半疑的心，让我无法发挥我真正的那无私的爱。
一来怕受伤害，二来不知自己真的要什么，三来不知她爱不爱我。。
我尽力了。。
就在那一晚，十一月二十六日，二零零九年。
我已陷入爱情。。

但。。　回来后，我发现，我陷入了不是爱情，是悲伤。。
开始疏远我的你。。
成经说过爱我的你。。
在我身命里砖了一个洞的你。。
离开我了。。

三十一日，二零零九年。。
深夜一点，我对这手机发呆。。
眼泪慢慢从我的眼袋流出。。
滑下我的脸颊。。
滴在地上。。
我又哭了。。

一月一日，二零一零年，
我又哭了。。
想着你当晚对我做的事，
想着你当晚对我说的事，
想着你当晚显得理所当然的你。。
让我哭了又哭。。

你是第一个女孩，让我如此难过。。

有个算命佬，成经对我说过。。
我需要有一个非常痛苦的失恋，接下来的爱情将会顺利。。
我想问他，那个令我痛苦悲伤的女孩，在接下来，还可以成为我那“爱情顺利”的她吗？

你说你有了男朋友。。
我的心碎了。。

那短短的一个礼拜多，你给了我一生从没得过的快乐，
但换来了，是我一身中从没得过的痛苦，悲伤。

欣。
是你给我快乐，
是你给我悲伤，
是你让我长大，
是你让我看见
爱情的痛苦。。

时间，就像从山上流下的河水
到了快乐的时光，它流的很快
到了悲伤的时光，它慢下来了
一转眼，我十七岁了
经历了无数的喜怒哀乐。。
是时间，让我张开眼睛
让我知道，外面的世界比起我经历过的事，只是森林里的一片叶子。。

2010-02-06T15:36:00.001+08:00

我已渐渐振作起来了。。
但，我的心无时无刻都会想起你。。

2010-02-03T23:13:00.001+08:00

我又哭了，但是我还是要等着你。

2010-02-02T18:33:00.001+08:00

我决定不哭了。因为再哭下去，你也不会回到我身边。。
我决定坚强的等你。。
一直等下去。。
欣，我好想你。。
我爱你。。

2010-02-01T21:47:00.004+08:00

this song reflects all my feeling..

我知道故事不会太曲折

我总会遇见一个什么人

陪我过没有了她的人生

成家立业之类的等等

她做了她觉得对的选择

我只好祝福她真的对了

爱不到我最想要爱的人

谁还能要我怎样呢

我爱的人不是我的爱人

她心里每一寸都属于另一个人

她真幸福幸福得真残忍

让我又爱又恨她的爱怎么那么深

我爱的人她已有了爱人

从他们的眼神说明了我不可能

每当听见她或他说「我们」

就像听见爱情永恒的嘲笑声

2010-02-01T18:26:00.000+08:00

2nd day..
4th cry

2010-01-31T23:04:00.001+08:00

今天，我又哭了。。

2010-01-31T12:47:00.002+08:00

几天前，我在学校时，我的眼皮会一直跳个不停。。
当时，我不知道发生什么事，但现在我知道了。。
我的眼皮跳的原因是因为我即将从她的心里的位子消失而去。。
我好后悔，当初因为我的那个死要面子的人格，害得我失去了你。。
我知道我现在后悔已经太迟了。。
你也知道你的心里有了别人。。
我已经不是你心里的唯一了。。
但是，你永远是我的唯一。。

欣。。
我爱你。。

2010-01-31T01:30:00.002+08:00

你是第一个让我为感情而真的流泪的女孩。。
我真的真的好爱你。。
但，你已经被人从我生命中夺走了。。
你说你已经对我没感觉了。。
我明白你的意思了。。

2010-01-30T22:32:00.003+08:00

欣，我爱你。。你知道吗？
虽然你已经有了男朋友。。
但是，我会等你。。
我真的很爱你。。

2010-01-30T22:15:00.001+08:00

Your Answer Is No..

2010-01-25T16:05:00.001+08:00

stupid school
stupid day
stupid people

2010-01-23T11:42:00.002+08:00

yesterday was an awesome day. went sentosa with usual peeps. (the whole group)
ppl includes :
ray
ko
pung
mj
wh
yt
ps
wm
sam

9 of us in total

played volleyball, and the flying plate thingy lol
it was enjoyable and lots of things happened.
iloveusualpeeps (:

after sentosa, went vivo for dinner.
had pizza hut.
finished at least 2 bottle of cheeze :D
and the total price is $130 ._.
then, took bus 30 home with ps and she alighted 1st.
reach home, bathed. and vomitted again.
my 2nd time vomitting after / while bathing.
i dunno why.
but stomach doesnt feel well when the water is flowing on my stomach
feeling very bloated and sick when bathing at home.
ok i shall end here.
byebye

-my days had come

2010-01-05T21:14:00.001+08:00

im suffering a big headache now. i guess my time shall ends in 2010..

2010-01-02T22:15:00.003+08:00

today is a normal day. i supposed at start.
woke up at 1pm,
maple maple maple till night.

thn, veron mei talked to me in msn,
she says that she wont beable to contact me anymore
and she is gonna start fresh again with her bf (: (grats)
so, she couldnt contact me anymore from now on due to some reasons.
so, hereby i declared, i had lost a friend, a good friend i supposed.
but i had won a place in her heart. 'a nice and caring kor' that she would never forget.
its very sad that, friends had become strangers, or even worst, uncontactable strangers.
but i will never forget you my mei (:

don worry, kor will never blame you for anything (:
if we are fated, we will beable to chat again (:
home that we would be able to chat again, and this time, you would share with me your goodnews.

thanks mei for being in my circle of friends.

our last farewell starts here.
GoodBye Veron Mei !

2009-12-31T15:58:00.002+08:00

我们的故事。。

两年前，你在forum里说出你的心事，还说想割脉。。
刚路过的我看见了，便回复你，希望能帮到你，希望你可以想开。
当时我们只是想路过的陌生人。。
不久，我也不知怎么了，有一股冲动想帮你。便要求向你要你的email。
我们聊了一会儿，几天后，你就消失了。。
你说你家人不让你常常用电脑，会很少上网。

两年后，我突然想起了你，不知你过得怎么样，便想碰碰运气，发了一个email 给你。
奇迹出现了。一两天后，你回复我说你过得很好。我希望我们可以交个朋友便和你交换电话号码。
渐渐的，我们天天都在简讯。也慢慢了解对方。

突然有一天，你说你在你男朋友家楼下，想等他回家。
我生气了。
已经是七点钟了，你还不回家，在他家楼下干吗？
你说他不回你的简讯，也不接听你的电话。
你很想念他。。

我不由得逼你回家。。
你很伤心。。你对我说，他不要你了。我也只好安静的听，想安慰你，但又不知该说什么好。。

几天后，你说你想跟我出门。那一天已经很迟了。我只好拒绝你。
你没怪我。。

第二天，我们一起出门去了。。
我带你去imm吃，因为你说你的肚子很饿。
我请你吃麦当劳，然后带你到阳台坐坐。

聊着聊着，我拿出二十块钱给你，心知你已经没钱吃饭了，不要你饿肚子过日子。。
当时你不接受我给你的钱，但我还是死都要你收下。你也拿我没办法。。
后来，我也送你回家了。

几天后，你说你要找工作。我便介绍你到我的agency。希望她可以帮你找到工作。。
当时，我刚好和朋友刚健身好，便出来找你。。

当事情办好后，我们就到附近的巴沙吃。

吃饱了，我们就回家了。。
一样的，我也送你到家门口。。

几天后，我们又见面了。。
你常常对我说，你男朋友对你多好，你们在一起有多开心。。
我的心不知怎么了，也有一种想哭的感觉。。

一天晚上，我送你到你家楼下后，你说你想到那个castle坐坐。。
我答应了。。
我们聊了很久。。
你累了，便问我可不可以躺在我的肩膀上休息。
我也答应了。
这是我第一次和一位女生那么靠近。。
我心跳加速，但被你发现了。
你问到：‘为什么你的心跳得那么快？’
我也只对着自己傻笑。。

第二天，同样的事也再度发生。
你躺在我肩膀上睡的很甜。

几天后，你说你找到工作了。
在你开工的第二天，我提早下班，哪都不去，就想快点回家冲凉后在到你工作的地方接你下班。
我没吃晚餐。
你下班后，你说你不饿，只想回家。。
我回复：‘好’

我们回到了你家楼下的castle。
我们一起看星星，你也睡着在我的肩膀上。。

当时，我已经对你产生好感。。
我喜欢你。

但是，就当我以为我已找到真爱是。。悲剧发生了。

那一天，我需要回马来西亚参加结婚典礼。。
那一天当我回去前，我一早就来找你了。。
我们到jurong lakepark 坐坐。。
然后又到causewaypoint 吃sakae sushi。
你很开心。。
我也是。。

吃饱后，因为我时间不多了，我便送你回家后，就回家了。
当我一上巴士时，你简讯我说有东西要给我。
我马上下巴士，就跑到你家楼下的巴士站。
我见到你，你说你想拿给我的东西是一包纸巾。
哈哈，我对着自己傻笑着，便送你回家了。
到你家门口，你说我的左眼有东西，想帮我擦掉，叫我闭上眼睛。
突然，你吻了我。。
我呆住了。
你也很快的跑进屋里。
当时的心情，我无法用语言来形容。。
我很开心，她总以发现我的存在，也喜欢上我了。。

我总以有个真实的女朋友了。
我好开心。。

可是，当我从马来西亚回来后，一切都变了。。
你对我好冷淡。。
我们似乎变得比陌生人还要陌生。。

到现在，我都不知为什么。。

今天是你的生日。。
我想对你说，

祝你生日快乐
祝你生日快乐
祝你生日快乐乐
祝你生日快乐。

happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to xiaoxin
happy birthday to you..

我没想到，我们之间所发生的一切都只是一场梦。。

2009-12-29T01:23:00.001+08:00

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle autumn's rain.

Do not stand at my grave and mourn.
I am the dew-flecked grass at dawn.
Where tranquil oceans meet the land
I am the footprints in the sand
To guide you through the weary day.
I am still here; I'll always stay.

When you wake up to morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there; I did not die.

© Mary Elizabeth Frye (1904).

2009-12-22T18:50:00.001+08:00

the worst outing today ever.

one word .
disappointing

2009-12-14T19:15:00.002+08:00

went cycling ytd with ko and minjie..
cycled from my house to ko's house, ate at cu, cycled to minjie's house get bike for ko.
cycled to bike shop to pump air for ko's bike.
went to wangyu's block to get ko's umbrella.
cycled to jurong east.
then to teban
paid peishan's gan-ma the concert ticet money as shes nt home.
bought drink
went 1 round trip in pandan resivoir
cycle back
return bike to minjie's house
eat with ko
home.
tired ._.

2009-12-09T22:22:00.000+08:00

guys i wont be blogging anymore for the time being cos my lappy is seriously spoiled.
thanks all.
bye

2009-12-06T22:38:00.002+08:00

今天，你打电话给我。。
当我一看见你的名字，我的心跳得好快。。
我拿起电话，听。。
你那甜美的声音使我身体又复活起来。。
你说你在工作，想要我去陪你。。
我答应了。。
但，你突然又说，不要了。。叫我不要过去好了。。
我也只好答应了。。
当时的心情，我不知道是开心还是伤心，是惊喜还是预料到的，是梦想还是现实。。
我好乱。。
一会儿，你说你要回去工作了。。
便挂电话了。。

每当我听见这首歌。。
我会想起你。。
傻瓜。。

其实他做的坏事我们都懂
没有什么不同
眼光闪烁暧昧流动
闭上眼当作听说

其实别人的招数我们都懂
没有什么不同
故作软弱撒娇害羞
只是有一点别扭

傻瓜也许单纯地懂
爱得没那么做作
爱上了我不保留

傻瓜我们都一样
被爱情伤了又伤
相信这个他不一样
却又再一次受伤

傻瓜我们都一样
受了伤却不投降
相信付出会有代价
代价只是一句傻瓜

每当我唱起这首歌。。
我都会很想你。。
也很想哭。。

有谁可以帮帮我。。？

2009-12-05T18:58:00.001+08:00

这是我们第二天没联络了。。你还好吗？。。
我好想你。。
我想知道你在想什么。。
为什么要这样对我。。
欣。。
我好想你。。
你过得好吗？。。

2009-12-04T20:04:00.002+08:00

就这样。。一天过去了。。
昨晚，我简讯你，问你几时回来。。
你回复我，下午。。
我感到好奇，为什么你会突然会去马来西亚，便问你为何回去。。
你给我的回复是：‘哪里是我的家，我为什么不可以回去’
我的心碎了。。
我只是想了解一下你为什么会这么突然回去。。
我回复你。。我不是这个意思。。
过后，你也没回复我了。。
我面对着天花板发呆。。
手拿着电话。。却等不到你的回复。。
不久。。天亮了，我得准备去工做。。
把电话收在口袋里。。
时时刻刻把电话拿出来。。希望能看见你的简讯。。
从早上到下午到放工。。
你都不回我简讯。。
你在怪我吗？。。
你恨我吗？。。
欣。。我只要一个答案。。
欣。。还是你有困难？一时不知要这么做？。。
你可以告诉我。。但请不要不理我。。
还是，你已经对我一点感情也没了？。。
跟你在一起的日子，我很开心。。
在一起的时间过得很快。。
但。。现在我所看见的。。
只是阳光后的大雨。。
下个不停。。。

2009-12-03T21:49:00.002+08:00

一天没联络你了。。
感觉好奇怪。。
我很期待你回来，但又不知道当你回来后要对你说什么。。
当我从马来西亚回来后，你渐渐开始远离我。。感情也变得很淡。。
简讯从多变少又变无。。
你说电话没钱了。。
又说回马来西亚去。。
也不说几时会回来。。
你不知我有多想你吗？欣。。
我希望当晚在你家门前所发生的事都是骗人的。。
欣。。我想对你说，我好爱你。。
虽然我比不上他，没比他帅，没比他好，没比他体贴，但。。我会比他还要爱你。。
我知道今天早上我发的简讯是我的不对。。
是我太着急了。。一时的冲动。。
希望你不会恨我。。
也不要避开我。。
每晚，我手里握着手机。。看着你的照片。。眼泪不受控制的流下。。
对着它问道：" 你还好吗？过得开心吗？睡了吗？有人欺负你吗？”

我不知道你会不会来到这里，但如果你见到了，我想让你知道，我爱你。

2009-11-14T15:44:00.003+08:00

this pose is for 13th nov :D

1st of all, happy birthday peishan [:

its prom night today. everyone was dressed up.
it was the most unforgetable night i had.
but soon, its all gonna be juz memories..

people, i plead u guys to send me all the prom night pictures taken on that day to send me D: may them be my final memory ..
thanks my friends [:

homed at 6.30am.. juz work up ;x

ex 1e8,2e8, usual group , 4e8 members, 4n3 peeps. thankyou [:

2009-11-02T20:30:00.003+08:00

hahah, long long time since i blogged, well, had been working recently and dont really have much time facing the com, not to say blogging. hahas.. currently, im working in a company called menlo packing PUMA (sport brand) stuffs. starting, it is very tiring as u need to wake at 6.30 and end work at 6pm D:.. its tough and hot there as there is no aircon too !
but soon, i got used to it and somehow i started to like this job @.@
i had requested to work futher until the end of december. boss say will give me her answer tml.. hope to continue working there as the pay is not bad, and the place is near, best of all, the environment is good as the workers there are friendly. hahas.

have to start planning a date for the boys to go buy some cloths. after 11th nov and before 13th nov. which left me with only 12th nov which is on a weekday instead of weekends. have to go buy after working .. lol.. very late. hope the boys can make it @.@

i shall now end here. P.S (guys , if u guys wanna plan outing for me , dont mind if u can make it on sat / sun as weekdays i wont be free.. haha . thanks [:

2009-10-18T02:35:00.007+08:00

this post i made today, is for this very person who had been my greatest friend of all.

its 18th oct, i wanna say, happy birthday bitch [:

i knew u in sec 1, a nerdy boy i can say. loved to bully you at that time, laughing and making sicks comments. but soon, u grew, and dispite hating me for all the nasty things i did in the past, u continued to be my friend. soon, we shares some secrets and starts to make up plan for ah-lalala. haha, by then, i had regraded you as my best friend in my whole life time. a friend that i can never lost.

having you as a friend, is my greatest fortune in life. knowing you, changed my life. u helped me much and shares ur concern to me.

thankyou my friend [:
wong kean onn

and thanks for gaying with me that day in vivo. HAHA

Quickpost this image to Myspace, Digg, Facebook, and others!

once again, i wanna tell you, happy birthday [: all the best in your O's level boy !
and goodluck in life [:

brother4ever yea?

2009-10-16T16:45:00.002+08:00

people, how i wish u all could just.. forget me .. pretend that i did not exist in your life before.. how i wish death arrives at my doorstep now and take me away..
life sucks
love hurts.
hais..

this world have no room for me ..

2009-10-13T14:30:00.003+08:00

today, nth much to post, except that i had receive xiaoxin's reply ! :D im so happy now.. hahas :D today, i recommend a song for all my dear readers :D its excellent ! hope you love it ! :D

2009-09-27T19:04:00.001+08:00

if..

my secondary school life story.

2009-09-03T20:39:00.000+08:00

my secondary school life story..

sec 1, 2005, in clsas 1E8. knew pretty much friends. very happy.
sec 2, 2006, in clas 2E8, getting more friends, starting to slack around, failed exam.
dropped to 3N3.
sec 3, 2007. in class 3N3. 1st time feeling so lonely in class. no friends, no one to talk to. indepedence?..
sec 4, 2008. in class 4N3. much familier with classmates. have much more friends to hang out with. starting to understand friendship.

but, those will soon turn to history.
soon, 2010 approach., friends from express classes promoted and leave yuhua.
classmates and friends which i used to hang out with all went on and leave yuhua too.
the feeling of loneliness, coldness, the bitterness inside me, unable to use words to explain the feeling. what should i do?.

i knew negative thinking is unacceptable , but do u think i have a choice?.

now, one of my friend and my baby is qurrelling, and i can hardly do anything but to sit there, quietly and watch the 2 of them scolding each other. im starting to feel that im so useless. what can i do? nothing.

i know for myself, im not a good friend, student, buddy, child, brother, boyfriend, bestie, papa, kor, yeye. but., what else can i do?.. can i change?
it all seems to be crashing at me all at one go.

i only wan this loneliness to stop.. have abit more attention , people to care about me, just abit more.. but., it seems that.. its just wild thinking. i always believe that, a god gave you a life, u were made to get to ur goal before you go back to him. but.. when will i achieve my goal? what are my goal? . what is fate? .

god, dear god,. how i wish, you could take me away from this miserable world.
the suffering, the pain, the bitter lonliness is killing me . the unbearable feeling that i can never ignore..

my simple wish is people around me, to feel happy, save, secured.
how i wish, i was stronger, to protect my loved ones, to show them howmuch i cared.

but now.. everything seems to be too late..

if tomorrow never comes,
people, i just wanna say..
i love you

2009-06-25T23:50:00.003+08:00

hey peeps, juz wanna say that i will not be online-ing much this weekends.
really got stressed out and screwed in maple. ._.
things that i don wanna say..

anyways, today went to watch transformers 2 , raise of the fallen
effect and sound effect were great.
just that abit crappy story line ._.
watched with
-eugene
-me
-keanonn
-jolene
-emily
-wangyu
-sam
-huiqi
-weikiang
-junwei

after movie, junwei and weikiang went home
left me n the rest, so we decided to go bowling.
went to taman jurong super bowl centre.
as pung have no socks, i bring him to my house to get socks
then to realise, THAT PIMPLE-ED FACE WONG KEAN ONN TOOK MY KEY
called him and made him rush bck to pass me the key.
then went to super bowl to meet the rest of them.
by the time we reached, the time is 6pm+,
jol is hungry so we went to kfc and eat.
after eating we play arcade.
played some shooting game.
and as usual, kof :S
emily and jol played with each other.
and .. the machine's life span grew shorter D: ( u know why)
then as i see them play, got tempted to play also,
i played again at the another machine.
shocking thing is..
the machine's 1st button..
is NOT connected with wire..
which means, i cant fast forward and use my skill n combo well ._.
after arcade, slacked around and went pool.
haha, enjoyed alot when playing pool as i start teaching them the hand position for the stick
played quite awhile and went off.
ko and pung need to go home, leaving me, emily,jolene and huiqi
went to drink bubble tea and went to eat supper
haha, ordered seafood fried rice and jolene's fav '' hokkien fried guay tiao''
eat and chatted until 11.10 and went home

below are removed so that some freako wont spread nonsense. bitch u

2009-06-21T17:13:00.001+08:00

What a Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong

mugboard

trying to cheer up when i knew its impossible..

wonderful world..? sigh

2009-06-18T10:25:00.003+08:00

-removed-

birthday today :D

2009-06-07T17:15:00.002+08:00

haha. today is my birthday :X
thanks all who wished me happy birthday (: really appreicate it alot (:
i also wannna thank keanonn for giving me a vongola sky ring in advance for my birthday present. (: LOVE IT ! :D

today, wake up, maplee till 2pm +..
decided to reward myself with my fav food +.+ CHICKEN CHOPP <3 ! LOL
since today is my birthday, a reward is needed :D

maple maple , talk talk chat chat..
then unhappy things happened ):
oh well..
going bath and dinner with mum le ..
bye :D

random day :x

2009-05-21T21:27:00.004+08:00

went to watch movie with sam,huiqi,emily didi and jolene.
watched '' night at the musueum 2''
rather funny :X watched and went home. LOL

k. dam long didnt update my song of the day liao
up next ! 林健辉-我听见有人叫你宝 (sent by peishan) :D

你问我为什么不再给你安慰
在寒风中漫步有家不回
好几天不见面也无所谓
你问我为什么把你的信退回
又把照片撕碎毫不后悔
你问我为了什么开始喝酒
而且每次都喝醉
不要说我做得不对
不要说你永远不会
因为我在无意间听见有人叫你宝贝
不要说这是个误会
请不要在我面前流泪
因为我明明听见有人叫你宝贝
你让他叫你宝贝
你问我为什么不再给你安慰
在寒风中漫步有家不回
好几天不见面也无所谓
你问我为什么把你的信退回
又把照片撕碎毫不后悔
你问我为了什么开始喝酒
而且每次都喝醉
不要说我做得不对
不要说你永远不会
因为我在无意间听见有人叫你宝贝
不要说这是个误会
请不要在我面前流泪
因为我明明听见有人叫你宝贝
你让他叫你宝贝
不要说我做得不对
不要说你永远不会
因为我在无意间听见有人叫你宝贝
不要说这是个误会
请不要在我面前流泪
因为我明明听见有人叫你宝贝
你让他叫你宝贝

another song i wanna add! its ...
freaking touching..
enjoy ((:

tired day :D

2009-05-20T20:38:00.003+08:00

lets start from 19th may.
last paper at school , maths paper 2
easy cake.. after paper, sam sms-ed me,
she was at emily didi's house, so i asked if i can join them.
they agreed and i went over.
ordered pizza. yummyyy :D
then play around at her house like board game etc.
jolene (dunno if i spell correctly) is FIERCEEEE.. :X
then went down for sports game.
played badminton with emily didi and sam.
got pwned badly ):
then went gym.
used the joggign machine. jogged continuously for around 9min++ before a fat arse complained and got the security to ask us out as its only stricked to resident of that area.
FAT people sux D: (sam not u)

then played UNO bricks game o.o
pwned sam badly until i started to self pwn D:
punishment was to drink 3 cups of water @.@
in the end..
i got myself a great deal of 11.5cups of water ==
cant finish all at one go, so i finished 3 cup thr and the rest tml D:
joked in the kitchen for abit and didi fetch us off the gate.
great day :D and watery @.@

20th may.
went out with keanonn,minjie and wanmei. LAST MINUTE AGREED.
bored at home, so went to jurong lake park to float around.
the sun was burning hot, so we decided to go bowling 1st.
bowling for 2 round.
scored 5x and 90 for both round.
then went to arcade.
played king of fighter 2002.
1year ++ no play liao, all my skill gone.
got pwned badly D:
then went back to lake park at around 4++
played the swing
challenge keanonn in pull up :X
i did 6 and he did 4 (i think)
then went to swing and talk talk talk..
haha.. time flys as we talk and wanmei got to go home.
so we all went home.
while walkin along, went to do pull ups again. haha
keanonn reached his limit so i did around 4 at one go.
the last time before we move on, asked keanonn to video for me .
did 4 time and when i land, i 4get to releast my hand and i somehow hurt my neck ~.~
kinda painful though..
then walk them all the way till the cross junction.
walked to lakeside mrt with wanmei
she took the mrt and i took bus home.

tired but fun day :DD

about mee

2009-05-05T20:16:00.002+08:00

after that few long and chim posts, i decided to post something about myself !
lets start from all my info and personality?

name : raymond sim
school : YHSS
hobby : computering research and etc.
likes : trust worthy peeps, honest, friends, singing :X
hates : bitches, slug, dog(not animal) , bastards, kb kia, guailan kia, etc etc :D

persoanlity : im a rather mood swing guy, who gets very depressed easily.
i love to make friends.
i love to help people from trouble.
i love to coucell people.
i love to be honest.
i love to keep secrets.
i love people who trust me (:
i'll love to be ur friend :D

i always think that im just a helper on this world, assigned by fate to help the chosen people who are in moody life. to change their life for a better.
and when my duty is finished, i'll be gone (:

and thats my life.. hahas

best friend

2009-05-04T21:25:00.002+08:00

today, i'll talk about best friend.
for what i though of, best friend are in 2 different kinds of catalogy.
one, the quiet one.
two, the active one.

The quiet one.
a best friend who does most of his/her part, at the back stage.
least to express out in public.
quiet in crowded places, but enjoys chatting with you when alone.
someone who will offers help.
someone who will ask if you are feeling upsad or something when he/she felt something is wrong with you.
this belongs to the quiet group.
still a best friend (:

The active one.
a best friend who always calles you on when there is activities like outing etc.
express out mostly in public and private.
jokes around with you fequencely and chat with you.
share most of problems between both parties.
willing to give up own matter for hepling his/her.
this belongs to the active group of friends.

now, which group do u belong to? (:

dream

2009-05-02T19:52:00.002+08:00

extracted something similar to the recenting post i made.
this was found in eugene pung's blog.
its about dream and reality.
rather meaningful..
enjoyy (:

Life may be just a dream, but how do we interpret it? What we dream at night can give us clues about what is important to us in waking life. Dreams help us to process our conscious thoughts and can give us new and important insights into the problems and challenges we face in the world. Although we may have strange and unusual dreams, there are a number of common dreams that many of us experience over and over again. Read the interpretations below for an explanation of symbols that seem to appear frequently in dreams.

1. Faulty or lost items: your phone won't work, your car breaks down, or you can't find your husband.This dream is alerting you to areas of your life that need repair or extra care right now. You may want to slow down and pay more attention to the realm of life indicated. For example, if you dream of your phone not working, notice how you are communicating to others now. Are you doing everything you can to get your message across in a positive way? If not, you may want to tune up this area of your life.

2. Money: you received a windfall, or you lost your savings in the stock market.Money in dreams symbolizes what you value or find important in life. If you dream of suddenly receiving a sum of money, this indicates that you are at a time in your life when your values are becoming very clear to you. If you have dreams of losing money, you may be experiencing a time of feeling separated from your sense of meaning in life. Try to explore what has been important to you in the past to see if your values have changed or altered over time.

3. You find yourself back in the classroom, or you've failed a test.This dream indicates that there is a challenge in your life and you fear failing. It also can mean that you may feel that you have regressed in some way and are not up to the task currently at hand. You may also feel judged or tested by an authority figure or someone who is in charge of you in some way.

4. You or a loved one is ill or dying.You may be approaching a time of great change when some parts of your life are falling away and disappearing. This dream is helping you to practice the feelings of loss that you may be having as the elements of your life or your relationships with others change and evolve. It is rare that this dream forecasts an actual death or illness, but it still might be a good idea to get a checkup or pay extra attention to your health now.

5. Being chased.Being chased in a dream indicates that you may be feeling you have a lot of responsibilities that you are having a hard time keeping up with. This dream is often known as a "stress dream," indicating that its presence is a sign to try to relax and slow down.

6. Teeth: you're smiling with nice, clean teeth, or your teeth are breaking off or forming cavities.Teeth represent time, stability, and maturity. The state of the teeth in your dream will give important clues as to what your relationships and feelings are related to these important life themes.

7. Nudity.Dreams where you or someone else appears nude relate to feelings of being exposed or vulnerable in waking life. You may currently be having an experience where everyone else seems to know about your problems and issues, and you are having a hard time processing your situation privately.

8. Falling, flying, or sinking.Changing direction, either going up or down in a dream, indicates where your awareness is in waking life. Dreams of falling or sinking symbolize a time of being more aware of your unconscious mind and deepest innermost thoughts, feelings, and memories. Dreams of flying indicate that you are exploring your conscious mind at this time or connecting to the realm of spirits, angels, and other energetic beings.

9. Water. Water in dreams is a sign that a certain emotional situation or experience is of importance in your life. Now is a good time to pay particular attention to your feelings and the realm of the imagination, dreams, and fantasies. The condition or state of the water will give clues as to the exact nature of your experience. Hurricanes and storms can indicate more challenging emotional situations, and on the opposite side, gentle streams and lakes indicate a more calm and peaceful emotional state or even a love or romantic connection.

10. Missing a boat, plane, bus, etc.Transportation vehicles in dreams symbolize the ability to move and act in the world. They represent our will, desire, and skill at accomplishing and manifesting our dreams and goals. When one of these vehicles is missing, it can mean that we are having a hard time finding the motivation to act and move in the world. We may need to reconnect with what drives or propels us into creatively manifesting our dreams.

path for you to choose.

2009-04-30T19:48:00.002+08:00

another words came from my mind from inspiration from some bible and hell videos and texts. here it is .

ever wondered where you will go to after death?
most people believes in heaven and hell.
do they exist?
some say yes, some say no.

personally, i believe in them.
but, they both lives in your heart even when you are alived.
why do i say so?
let me list some examples using the most famours phrase
'' good deeds comes with good return, bad people will face retribution''
it simply says it all.

logically, good people have more fames and loved by all.
bad people receive more enemies and hate by all.
define good and bad.

good : first of all, everyone love honest people right?
find someone who loved to be lied and betrayed.
so, the most important criteria to be classified under ''good'' will be honesty.
next,reasonable.
no one will want a unreasonable friend who pick up a fight for nothing right?
sweet and caring. i don need an example on that do i?

the book of wisdom and the holy bible.
written by famours and with high intelligent.
great example on how to be classified as ''good'' people.

following by ''bad'' people
what ARE bad people?
most reasonable answer is : people who do bad thing.
but, what are the bad things talking about here?
crimes, hurtful comments and all the things needed to hurt somebody.

as said on top, heaven and hell.
why do they exist?
to explain in a simple term, a place for good and bad people to go to when they died.

if thats the case, why do i say that heaven and hell both are in our heart even before we die?
reason is simple.
note : this is all written by me and my mind, no article is used in this paragraph.

when one did a good deed, a ray of light is shined inside the body. a ray of invisible light.that ray of light, is shined to the heaven, as a sign to tell the gods you are one step closer to approaching them.

same like wise, when one did evil deeds, a ray of darkness float around the body, covering and cloating the person. that ray of darkness, shoot directly down the earth, though the core, to hell, as a sign to tell the demons, satan, that they are going to have someone accompaning them soon.

why do i say that?
i believe that, in a book of life, everyone have their own destiny and path of life.
its also believed that, for every stop where you needed to make choices, there will be at least 2 more roads. example, a yes or a no. the road will be seperated from a one way track to a double track. with consequences we cannot see.
THAT is the path of our life.
thats why, for every step you take, it bears with a consequence. good or bad.

How do this link to heaven and hell?
as mentioned on top, for every good / bad deed u did.
there is a jar inside you. the jar is used to contain all the things u do. good or bad. for every good deed you do, the jar is increased with a bright colour.
same like wise, for every bad deed you do, the jar is increased with a DULL colour.
this process is happening and continouing until you lie flat and shut your eye.
by then, your jar should be filled up.
either by brightness or plain darkness.
and that is the ''certificate'' for u to go to either heaven or hell.

Quotoed from a youtube video : Galactic Alignment in 2012 timing 07:11

*treat this as a self reflection*

If hell is real, do you want to go there?
The pits of hell was created for satans and his minions to be punished for their rebillion, do you want to share their fate?
If you don't repent from their inquity and influences and if you willingly take part in their darkness, the demon fate will be yours as well.
Are you deceived?
Do you love death and worthship evil?
Do you love violences?
Are you mentally trained to hunger for (dark) magic and occult mythology.
Will you lie to yourself that satan does not exist?
Do you want to share his fate on judgement day?
Will you allow him to take you with him?
Hell is real, dont choose a temporary life of sins.. for eternity of suffering.
you can have enternity life and undescribable of joy;if you leave this world behind and embrace the love and salvation.

Jesus - he who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.

Hate and revenge is an endless cycle.

'Quote from nickelback song, lyric of ' if everyone cared' '
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

from that, we can understand that, this world need love.
without it, blood sheds all over the ground.
bodies can be seen lying along the streets.
Blood flows like river and steams.
hunters kill with rage and gun.
innocent women and children screamed can be heard.
homes were broken in and doors are teared down..

Hell is a terrible place to be.
if you want to stay out of hell,
steps to be taken will be ..
forgive and forget.
NO harmful minds.
ignore.

the life of path, its easy to walk on, but its hard to bear the consequences.
take every step wisely..

a short intro of life. written by me and myself.

2009-04-28T19:56:00.002+08:00

a short intro of life. written by me and myself.

what is life? why is our life at this age such a difficult and curel thing?
why, in any form, makes our life something difficult and sad, angry, emotional,happy?

in life, they are spilt up to 3 main cataglogy.

1st: love relationship.
what are they? true love? does they exist?
in your mind, for thoes who are already blinded by love, their answer will be , definity yes ! my hubby / darling treat me so well, i can get what ever i want with just a snap of my finger by noticing him/her. but, think again, is this true love?
what really is true love?
someone to held an umbrella when u are standing in the rain.
someone who is willing to lend u a listening ear when u needed.
someone who would spare his /her shoulder for you to cry on.
someone who willing to spend his/her rest of their life with you happily.
something that are so closely bond that nothing, even god, cant seperate both.
something that made u cry on but at the same time, u reflect on what u did wrong and offered an apology.
something that made u bold and brave to stand infront for your loved one.

this, is true love.
easier said then done right?
on this earth, how many is able to react the same as all the point listed on top?

why? why must our life have love relationship?
even though ppl said, love is like a poison, if u dont get an antidote, the poison is just going to hurt u deeper and deeper.
its true, in reality, this does, and many who cant restand the poison would fade off from earth.
unlike fairytale, to love and live happily ever after, for ever and ever and ever.. blah blah blah. no way it will exist. not on earth.

so, why, even students and teenagers had an love r/s. going out and ask, ask 20 teens, i can garentee, all of them would have at least one crush or even had a stead.
but when things turn bad, u began to ask, why did i fall in love with him/her?
earth seems unfair to u, but, look.
if u do not pass though all this problem, how would u react in future?
this is part of god's life lesson to you.
those who could not pass the test, u suicide. and u failed the test,your life,your family,your friends and yourself.

this is one of the life lesson for human like us on earth.

2nd : friendship.
close friend, BBF (best friend forever) friends,
sound normal, can be seen all over the place.
BBF, calling out for each other like drinking water, but when it comes to misunderstanding/betraying, wat do u do? break off friendship tiles? feeling sad, sorrow, asking why did u ever meet up with such a jerk? but, think again, why would u have a friend?

life lesson number 2. friendship. why friendship?
primary school, the most common phrase u can hear : '' U MAKE ME ! I DONWAN FRIEND U LIAO !'' etc etc. that are just normal anger of words.

in secondary school, u can hear this : '' wa, u good, friend wan do till like tt, %@^*$%@$%@''. hurtful words pouring out of ur mouth. anger of words.

but, without friends, who are you? nothing. u stand in no position in the human race and human socility. human became very selfish, thinking only for themself. is this what you want?. god gave us a heart, to accept friends in your life, so that u learn from them. god made human a unperfect being. terms like '' no one is perfect''came into picture.
friendship, are for you to treasure. as u grow older, of course, u will be having more friends, but, as friends getting more and more, u began to hear conflict against your friends. being trapped as a middle person dont feel good.everyone knew it.

u began to hate god for giving u these friends, u tried to escape, hiding in your room, ignoring what is happening in the outside world, will this solve anything? NO. because i tell you, in future, your life is just going to repeat the same as your past. just that its in a more difficult mode.

if u dont learn to solve it now, who is going to help you in future?. god gave us a heart to accept friends, fate assign us to meet difference kind of friends. they dont do it for the sick of doing, but, to educate mankind about life.

friend are here to give you comments and opinion they think its right to help to change you. gradly accept the opinions, change as they guide u to. listen to the good one. knowing yourself whats right and whats wrong. our friends are just like a piece of mirror. they can reflect on how you look like. learn to accept, try to change. and u will know, how beautiful this world can be.

now for part 3, family.
who are your family?
mother,father,slibings
why are they here? most common logic answer is, to give birth of you.
but thats not the main point.

they are here for u to share ur problem with, when you 1st opened your eye, when u are still young and innocent, u dont know who to depend on. your heart of friendship aint opened fully yet. the only peson u can talk to is your family.

why? they are your only kin. the same type of blood flows inside your body.
god gave us different kind of parents for different purpose.

kind and caring parents > they are here to teach u and allow you to know that this world, there is love if u can find it .

normal and average parents > to teach you from young that this world is not a easy place to live in. you have to fight and strive to survive.

mean and devilish parents > beat you up for no reason, giving an idea that this world is a very curel place to live in, people, even your kin can hurt you that much, made you wanted to leave this world quickly.

but when this happened, for those child with mean and devilish parents, friendship came into picture. they treat each other with all their love and trust, as they felt that this world, there are no more people they can relay and put their trust on.
there are positive and negative answer on this.

but, the main problem is : why do god assign us with different kind of parents?
as said on top, to educate us. HOW? people will argue back with : '' your parent everyday wack you like a punching bag, ill-treat you and even hurt you with heat and etc, u call that educate ? '' well, they are more on a hush type of education.

if you don't hate, u won't love. thats the most basic principle.
same as if you don't love, you won't hate.
what does it link to education for our life?

in life, out there in the world, there can be even more worst type of things happening. god's purpose of placing different personality parents with you so that, they can give you an impact in your life. to tell you, it isn't easy to live.

other parents, who were nice and caring, were just to tell you, life can be easy to live with, if you open your heart and accept all positive.

that were all assigned by god and fate. this is a life where we cant escape from.

if you are still feeling upsad over things in life, those impact that u cannot take it, its ok, releast it out to someone you trust, listen to their words.
approach a couceller is also not a bad idea. just tell yourself, you are not alone on this world.

if you need, u can even contact me though msn @ spongebob_sin@hotmail.com
share with me your problem, i can help you with my own way (:

thats the end of my intro of life. hope you like it (:

my path

2009-04-26T22:40:00.002+08:00

FINALLY ! AFTER LONG OF ASKING AND QUESTIONING. I FINALLY FOUND OUT MY ANSWER TO MY DREAMT COURSE.! *ASRONOMY*..
THE PATHS IS LIKE THIS

N's lvl
to
O's lvl
to
A's lvl (jc)
to
courses in jc (maths & sciences)
to
university (maths & sciences)
to
degree
to
degree hournour
to
master degree
to
PHD
to
university in USA

(: wee ~ such a long path ):

what should i do? / tuition

2009-04-23T22:04:00.003+08:00

lots to post today (: enjoy
somehow words juz keep pouring out of my mind.. i'll now juz start with schools and education ..

played chiense chess today . its an interesting match. hope to play with ms wong somedays. haha =P anyway, congrats to ms _____ for going to become mrs ___ :D
as asked not to leak any name or infomation, i can only use blank :D ok. serious matter now ..

now, i felt that its really a time to bck up already.. some how i feel that my studies is getting from bad to worst. not counting maths but.. sigh. i dunno why. i wanan study. but i cant do it . my goal of life.. im having doubt that i can even achieve my ever wanting dream. but it seems to me that it is almost impossible.
astronomy.. how hard must i do to get into that?
ppl asked me why i wan astronomy so badly, it seems like a dam boring subject. but no. astronomy. the ultimate uses of physic calculation and maths. to calculate time, to twist time and to even travel though time. it may sound frictional.. but i think it is possible. i dunno why, my goal seems to grow leg and were running away from me . thining on wat i have to go though scares me alot, not the subjects but the amount of time taken. just a PH.D itsels is gonna take at least 6years. degree courses and master degree ? i dare not think. who is going to fund me till so far?
i really is confused, it seems like i can only/ want to get astronomy . but yet, my one and only goal seems so far ahead. do i still have hope? now maths i cant even tahan a simple maths on geometry which i cant bloody understand. how can i even do things like :

2
( G * M ) v * R
v = sqrt ( ----- ) or M = -------
( R ) G

OR

L is the luminosity (Watts)
pi is 3.14159...
R is the radius of the star (meters)
T is the temperature (Kelvin) W
sigma is the Stefan-Boltzmann constant: 5.67 x 10^(-8) ---------
m^2 * K^4

and even questions like this

Most galaxies move away from us, which causes a positive shift in wavelength; that means a shift towards the red end of the spectrum. Astronomers call this a redshift. We often measure the size of the redshift with this formula:

shifted lambda
z = -------------- - 1
lambda

where
z is the "redshift" of the object
lambda is the rest wavelength
shifted lambda is the observed wavelength

after looking at them.. i started to lose confident, a person like me, who score average for even secondary level. can i go that far? ): someone enlighten me please..

anyway. i would wanna improve my maths again,, the most basic way of improving myself is to teach others at the same time. so, i would now wanna offer some maths tuition for both msn/rl. i only have a rule which is : i only teach those who is willing to learn. if u are really willing to learn, u can contact me though msn. noted that this is only for my friends only (:
topics like algebra and sine rule / bearings.

just wondering, is 2012 doomsday true? will the earth juz goes ''BOOM'' on the 2012 dec 21th? . things like sun solar flare heated up and hit earth? pole shifted suddenly in afew hours? natural disasters destory mankind? or even a giant meteo from somewhere far from space crashing into earth and goes ''BOOM''? or the worst i can think of is the sun just finish its ''fuel'' and cooled down? and soon developed into a black hole and earth kena sucked inside? global warming is a hint to earth. WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE! ~ or maybe not? will human develop a time machine on time ?

time machine. wat are they? can a human move from time to time? from century to century? albert einstine said that it is possible. most astrologist also said it can be done. item needed were dark matter and a located wormhole (if there is any). dark matter is hypothetical matter that is undetectable by its emitted radiation, but whose presence can be inferred from gravitational effects on visible matter.If you could travel back in time, where would you go? Actually it’s a trick question: you couldn’t travel back in time unless there was a time “machine” already built in the past. The universe’s very first time traveller would therefore only be able to travel back to when the machine he/she was using was built. This is one restriction that puts pay to those romantic ideas that we could travel back in time to see the dinosaurs; there were no time machines back then (that we know of), so nothing to travel back to. And until we create a time machine, we won’t be seeing any travelers any time soon.. thats the law of time traveling. friction or fact? its up to u to guess.. (:

hurt.. again..

2009-04-05T14:47:00.002+08:00

was mapling tis morning.. walking around.. training around.. playing and selling some of my collection stuffs in maple.. than suddenly. something happened.. it hurt me deeply. and now. i wasnt in a mood to do anything. juz staring in the blank wall for a long time, thinkin back on wat tis person said.. hais.
listened to a song. the end by jason reeves.
meaningful lyrics. enjoys.

The end is such a scary place to start
everything is torn apart
and i don't know where to go from here
in the end, there's no reason to pretend
i know you won't be back again
i gotta find a way from here..

i don't know where i'll fall down
but i'm sure to hit the ground..

cause it's not over till it's over
every ending's a new beginning
one more chance to get it right
one more chance to get it wrong
its not over till it's over
sometime's nowhere leads to somewhere
and it all starts again
in the end

and it's such a scary place to be
everything is in between
and i don't know where to go from here
in the end i see it's all up to me
to figure out where i should be
im gonna find a way from here

i dont know where i'll fall down
but im sure to hit the ground...

chorus...

lamest day

2009-03-30T19:13:00.000+08:00

woa.. ytd actually got alot to post.. but today no mood already == fk my CPU for getting error == cant even boss in maple now.. rotting in msn == fk it , heng gt lappy, if nt i really can die ==

the time machine

2009-03-24T22:26:00.003+08:00

OMFG ! juz watched the show '' the time machine (2002) '' recently. and its OMFGWTFFTW ! its so dam awesome man ! its about a guy, who loved a girl so much, and on their date, the girl died, in depression, the man spent 4year of his life, and created a time machine, he successed in the 1st time and went bck to the past, and he saved his girlfriend from a robber but her gf kena ram by a car == wtf? than the man was dam sad, he used the time machine, to travel into the future, hoping that ppl in the future , who are more high-tech, know the answer on why he cannot change history. and he went though alot of advantures.. of all the high tech city of NY. and ppl even create some thingy on the moon to live on, but as he travel more deeply into the future, the moon cracked and its almost the end of human civilisation. than it all started with some sorts of cave man style, but human with 2 difference kind. one who live on the top and another who live in the underworld. and he finally found his answer on why he can never change history .. the answer is : '' if your gf didnt die, u will not create the time machine, but since u created the time machine, how can u not let your gf die? '' chimlogic >.> but understandable. anyway, at the end, this man decided to live in the future world instead of his own reality world. he destroyed his time machine and destroy all the underground cave man who feed on humans .

conclusion : time travel is possible ! even though the movie is juz a friction one.

go watch it man ! its dam nice !

a piece of motivation

2009-03-07T21:59:00.004+08:00

If you think you are in the worst situatuon, and can't seems to find the strength to get back up, are you going to give up?
When you fall down when u are walking, what are u going to do? GET BACK UP ! everybody knows you have to get back up to continue and start walking, if not, ur legs aint gonna get you anywhere.

Some times in life, when you fall down, and feel like you don't have the strength to get back up, do you think you have any hope? NO! if you fall, you try your best to get back up, Nick Vujicic said, if i fall down, i will try my best to get back up, and i will try 100 times to get back up, and if i failed 100times, and i give up, do you think i am going to get up? NO ! but if i failed, and i try again, and again and again, but i just wan you to know that its not the end, is that how you gonna finish?
are you going to finish strong? one day, you will find the strength to get up, strong.

We are putted in situations to build up our characters, not to destroy us..

funny videos LOL

2009-03-02T20:10:00.004+08:00

haha, here to post some video today :X dam funny :D enjoys

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Another one :D

busy day

2009-02-21T22:59:00.002+08:00

alright.. now.. my life in both maple and real is dam busy -.- ..
tis is my time slot :
monday : 3.30 end school , D&T after that
tuesday : cca till 4.30, 5pm muz reach home, horntail till 8pm.
wednesday : school till 3.30, horntail from 5~8
thurday : school till 3,30, tuition from 6~8pm
friday : school till 1.20, D&T after that
sat : horntail 1.20pm till 3+ , 5~6+ gt another round ht
sunday : tuition 10~12, go home do D&T all the way

see.. my life.. busy .. lol.. anyway . found this phrase rather meaningful :D
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down -
Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around. :D

2009-02-12T21:25:00.001+08:00

only 3 words to post today ..

DOMO IS HOMO !!!

bored ~ .~

2009-02-11T22:30:00.002+08:00

aw. my life is bored -.- feel like going out daily.. D: maple lesser and lesser things for me to do le .. -.- i wan HT !! :D ahh :x. ok i end here ba :D
wan song bo? k i post 1 :D

song of the day :
All About Loving you - by bon jovi

Looking at the pages of my life
Faded memories of me and you
Mistakes you know Ive made a few
I took some shots and fell from time to time
Baby, you were there to pull me through
Weve been around the block a time or two
Im gonna lay it on the line
Ask me how weve come this far
The answers written in my eyes

[chorus:]

Every time I look at you,
baby, I see something new
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more
I dont wanna sleep tonight,
dreamins just a waste of time
When I look at what my lifes been comin to
Im all about lovin you

Ive lived, Ive loved, Ive lost, Ive paid some dues,
baby
Weve been to hell and back again
Through it all youre always my best friend
For all the words I didnt say
and all the things I didnt do
Tonight Im gonna find a way

[chorus:]

Every time I look at you,
baby, I see something new
That takes me higher than before
and makes me want you more
I dont wanna sleep tonight,
dreamins just a waste of time
When I look at what my lifes been comin to
Im all about lovin you

You can take this world away
Youre everything I am
Just read the lines upon my face
Im all about lovin you

[guitar solo]
[chorus:]

Every time I look at you,
baby, I see something new
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more
I dont wanna sleep tonight, dreamins just a waste of time
When I look at what my lifes been comin to
Im all about lovin you

irritating fools

2009-02-07T22:18:00.003+08:00

can u stop tagging my blog? for once? trying to act as if u care. come on , grow up already, stop behaving like a small kid, _l_ la, u think ur jokes very funny? sry but my ans is NO. stop all ur shitty comments la, bloody hell. each ppl got their own life can? respect MY privicy la, bastards, grow up and have life _l_

sad cny

2009-01-26T03:44:00.002+08:00

juz 20min before i though i can travel happily to msia.. surfing around my msn.. notice that she.. her.. deleted me from msn.. i was very shocked.. and sad.. i didnt know wat i did to make her so angry with me, till she have to block all contacts with me .. rmb the day i asked u that question.. and the day u told me u will consider?.. that was one of the happiest moment in my life.. but now .. i dont feel like myself anymore.. my heart is broken.. tears shed continuously .. i really wish i can get an explaination.. i tried to forget u.. to hate u.. but i simply CANT.. my mind still doesnt wanna give up on u.. that causes me to get hurt daily as i notice more about u .. i really dunno wat else i can do.. give me a guide line.. tell me wat i should do.. i remembered i sweared to u that if i drink alcohol w/o ur permission, i will be striked by lighting or bang down by a lorry.. tis evening i drank 1 cup.. and i really hope.. this curse will work on me.. becuz i really dunno wat else i can do or say anymore.. harted is all i can feel inside u to me.. u left my life.. and u didnt fail to plant mines inside it, till u ran far, it exploded, and all im left was broken bones and wound.. U ARE A DEVIL! WHY DID U CHANGE MY LIFE INTO TIS FORM? i rmb the day u said u wan some items, i FARMED for total of more than 50hours.. juz for u.. to have ur item and u can improve ur damage to training.. but now .. it seems that u had already forgotten who that item is from.. wat i said here, i dunno if u will read or nt, but im juz telling u, i have no intention of getting it back, once i give an item, i will never think of having it back. thats my rule of life.. hope u understand.. 2009, chinese new year.. cried on 3.40am ..

what should i do?

2009-01-21T21:24:00.003+08:00

moody again.. didnt wanna eat.. juz wanna fight.. learn n practice fully on my own combination of wing chun.. hope it work somehow.. i wish to protect everyone that i cares.. but.. am i in position to do that? i found that friends that we used to be tgt had avoid me times n times.. disappointment in my heart.. sadness on my head.. with strength on my fist.. i hopping to punch a wall.. but.. wat else can i do?. .
love
friends
studies
family..

I HATE THIS LIFE

confusion

2009-01-20T20:49:00.002+08:00

i dunno wat else can i do or say anymore.. but i started to understand that..
we dont have the fate to be anything.. even friends.. all i know is that, you, in my world, gave me both happiness n sadness.. feeling in pain.. i managed to give up.. my heart dies with u.. but..
thinking back.. someone.. this person.. who did so much for me .. and i didnt feel anything.. i was like a beast.. i dont suit a kind gal like u.. ppl may think im a flirt.. and. wat if i say i am? .. i dont flirt in any way.. i can give u the best u wan.. but i can give u the worst u can ever imagine.. im not a good guy.. i gave pain to others.. now for tis case. tis is my retribution.. i get wat i did to u..
im really sorry gal, even the special day that u had always been looking forward.. i gave u a 5min joy and a entire day of sorrow.. i dunno wat else i can say.. the trust, care u gave me .. i wished i will be moved.. but i cant.. i dunno why.. i cannot control my emotion.. it turn messy at times and.. i will just throw some fk up temper at u, making u cry, making u sad.. i dont wan my life to be tis way.. how i wish i can juz die off ..

given up?

2009-01-18T22:28:00.002+08:00

i give it up.. im sick of feeling, there is nothing i can say or do anymore.. sorry gal.. if i had bring u hurt tonight. i really don mean it.. im sorry.. i will leave ur life.. i will leave ur world. ray will never exist in ur world ever again.. i will a drip of water in a desert. whr it slowly dessolved and never to be found again.. i know what ever i said now is too late.. but i wan to let u know that.. i truely love u.. girl.. whats my life without u? .. nothing.. without u girl.. my life is incomplete.. i got 3 choices.. vote them for me in my tag box..

- slit till all pain is gone
- quit maple
- jump off for good..

i miss u..

2009-01-17T19:07:00.002+08:00

girl.. u didnt seems to online today.. isit because of me ?.. if it is. im sorry.. i didnt mean to hurt u at all.. sorry.. im sorry .. will u give me a chance?.. i just need a reply.. i hope we can be like the past.. where we 1st meet in Boat Quay Town.. under the merlion.. beside the fm.. chatting cheerfully.. and now.. the ignores i get.. this chances so fast.. im disappointed.. please dont turn our friendship into strangers.. imissyou..

2009-01-16T19:15:00.003+08:00

why did u do this to me ?

why did u do this so easily?

u made it hard to smile because u made it hard to breath

why did u do this to me?

WHY DID U DO THIS TO ME?

WHY DID U DO THIS SO EASILY?

U MADE IT HARD TO SMILE BECAUSE U MADE IT HARD TO BREATH

WHY DID U DO THIS TO ME ?

why did u do this to me ?

why did u do this so easily?

u made it hard to smile because u made it hard to breath

why did u do this to me ?

why..? why must u do this to me?

u left pain in my world..

u can damage me in just 5min

and the damage take a long time to heal..

do u know how important u are to me ?

why do u hurt me again and again

dont u feel a tiny bit of pain feeling from me ?

ireallyloveyoubutyougavemenochancebuttogiveup

school as normal.. cried in math lesson.. cuz of the morning messages i send to her..

emo for the whole day ..

didnt have much appitite to eat too..

feeling very down.. just nw saw her online in maple.. kinda happy..

but in 5min time.. one heavy blow was punched into my heart..

it stop pumping..

its dead.. i guess..

walked to teban from jurong east today alone..

repeating this phrase :

'' why did u do this to me?

why did u do this so easily ?

u make it hard to smile because u made it hard to breath..

why did u do this to me ? ''

so what if im a emo fuck? do u have any fucking right to comment about me ?

look at urself before u speak. i cant control my emotion, SO WHAT? BIG FUCK?

COME PUNCH ME THAN, WAT FOR WHINING AROUND LIKE A HOUSEFLY

and u, stop pretending that u know me dam well. and stop spreading around that im EMO-ING

so what if its true, when others ask, why must u be so kpo to answer?

when they ask why, why must u at as if u told u everything.

wat do u mean by, ''he got pang seh-ed ytd, thats why now emo''

wtf is this? did i told u that? u DIDNT EVEN KNOW why i turned moody, and u goes around

telling ur STORY. i didnt got the mood to scold u, doesnt mean i dont care about that, u got it?

what did i do wrong this time..?

2009-01-14T15:56:00.002+08:00

today school was dam bored.. 1st period of school.. nose bleed for no reason.. sms-ed a close friend of mine.. no reply.. tis morning.. i didnt receive a msg.. last night.. no messages are replied.. i really dunno wat to do.. i dunno wat happened.. what did i say or do wrong again?.. ytd.. 3 heavy blows hit directly on my heart.. 3 fatal hit.. make me couldnt sleep much.. cried on my bed.. what else can i do?.. no one understand how i feel now.. in school today.. mood was very down.. wasn't in a mood of doin anything.. i wished to quit maple.. but.. my mind is uneasy.. i dunno wat should i do.. really feeling confused.. will u tell me wat happened?..

moody

2009-01-13T13:49:00.004+08:00

get really moody today again.. after so many things done.. am i just that of wat u called?.. i donwanna be that .. why? .why did u do this to me ?.. why did u do this so easily? when i tried so hard to make u happy, tried my very best to give u everything u wan.. sigh.. ppl asked me to give up.. but i dont.. i know i cannot.. i must not and i cant.. i must protect u.. if only im in that position to do that task..

this message.. is very meaningful.. hope u enjoy it ..
从前有个书生和莫家小姐私定终生。

在他们结婚的那天，

未婚妻却嫁给了别人，

痴情书生很伤心，

一病不起。

一个路过的僧人决定点化他。

僧人摸出一面镜子给他看，

书生看到茫茫大海，

一名遇害的女子没穿衣服地躺在海滩。

有一人路过，将衣服脱下给女尸盖上；

不久又一人路过，他好心地把尸体埋了。

镜里景物消失，僧人解释道：

那具女尸是你未婚妻的前世，

你是那个为他盖上衣服的路人，

她今身和你相恋，只为还你一个情。

他最终要报答一身一世的时候来来把他埋葬的那个人，

而那人就是她现在的丈夫。

书生大悟，病也好了。

“有些人在我们生命中出现，相恋然后离开，

她不是要来伤你的心，而是要还你前身的一个情。”

call me ray

Sum 41 - The Hell Song

Rascal Flatts Why

Draw with Me

Story of the Year - Pale Blue Dot (Interlude) [HIGH QUALITY]

【超扯童話血多】賣火柴小女孩 第十五話 In The China White

my secondary school life story.

birthday today :D

random day :x

tired day :D

about mee

best friend

dream

path for you to choose.

a short intro of life. written by me and myself.

my path

what should i do? / tuition

hurt.. again..

lamest day

the time machine

a piece of motivation

funny videos LOL

busy day

bored ~ .~

irritating fools

sad cny

what should i do?

confusion

given up?

i miss u..

what did i do wrong this time..?

moody

【超扯童話血多】賣火柴小女孩第十五話 In The China White