Monday, January 26, 2009
juz 20min before i though i can travel happily to msia.. surfing around my msn.. notice that she.. her.. deleted me from msn.. i was very shocked.. and sad.. i didnt know wat i did to make her so angry with me, till she have to block all contacts with me .. rmb the day i asked u that question.. and the day u told me u will consider?.. that was one of the happiest moment in my life.. but now .. i dont feel like myself anymore.. my heart is broken.. tears shed continuously .. i really wish i can get an explaination.. i tried to forget u.. to hate u.. but i simply CANT.. my mind still doesnt wanna give up on u.. that causes me to get hurt daily as i notice more about u .. i really dunno wat else i can do.. give me a guide line.. tell me wat i should do.. i remembered i sweared to u that if i drink alcohol w/o ur permission, i will be striked by lighting or bang down by a lorry.. tis evening i drank 1 cup.. and i really hope.. this curse will work on me.. becuz i really dunno wat else i can do or say anymore.. harted is all i can feel inside u to me.. u left my life.. and u didnt fail to plant mines inside it, till u ran far, it exploded, and all im left was broken bones and wound.. U ARE A DEVIL! WHY DID U CHANGE MY LIFE INTO TIS FORM? i rmb the day u said u wan some items, i FARMED for total of more than 50hours.. juz for u.. to have ur item and u can improve ur damage to training.. but now .. it seems that u had already forgotten who that item is from.. wat i said here, i dunno if u will read or nt, but im juz telling u, i have no intention of getting it back, once i give an item, i will never think of having it back. thats my rule of life.. hope u understand.. 2009, chinese new year.. cried on 3.40am ..
Labels: death, im still waiting ..
3:44 AM
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
moody again.. didnt wanna eat.. juz wanna fight.. learn n practice fully on my own combination of wing chun.. hope it work somehow.. i wish to protect everyone that i cares.. but.. am i in position to do that? i found that friends that we used to be tgt had avoid me times n times.. disappointment in my heart.. sadness on my head.. with strength on my fist.. i hopping to punch a wall.. but.. wat else can i do?. .
love
friends
studies
family..
I HATE THIS LIFE
Labels: death come find me plz
9:24 PM
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
i dunno wat else can i do or say anymore.. but i started to understand that..
we dont have the fate to be anything.. even friends.. all i know is that, you, in my world, gave me both happiness n sadness.. feeling in pain.. i managed to give up.. my heart dies with u.. but..
thinking back.. someone.. this person.. who did so much for me .. and i didnt feel anything.. i was like a beast.. i dont suit a kind gal like u.. ppl may think im a flirt.. and. wat if i say i am? .. i dont flirt in any way.. i can give u the best u wan.. but i can give u the worst u can ever imagine.. im not a good guy.. i gave pain to others.. now for tis case. tis is my retribution.. i get wat i did to u..
im really sorry gal, even the special day that u had always been looking forward.. i gave u a 5min joy and a entire day of sorrow.. i dunno wat else i can say.. the trust, care u gave me .. i wished i will be moved.. but i cant.. i dunno why.. i cannot control my emotion.. it turn messy at times and.. i will just throw some fk up temper at u, making u cry, making u sad.. i dont wan my life to be tis way.. how i wish i can juz die off ..
Labels: death, im waiting for u..
8:49 PM
Sunday, January 18, 2009
i give it up.. im sick of feeling, there is nothing i can say or do anymore.. sorry gal.. if i had bring u hurt tonight. i really don mean it.. im sorry.. i will leave ur life.. i will leave ur world. ray will never exist in ur world ever again.. i will a drip of water in a desert. whr it slowly dessolved and never to be found again.. i know what ever i said now is too late.. but i wan to let u know that.. i truely love u.. girl.. whats my life without u? .. nothing.. without u girl.. my life is incomplete.. i got 3 choices.. vote them for me in my tag box..
- slit till all pain is gone- quit maple- jump off for good..
10:28 PM
Saturday, January 17, 2009
girl.. u didnt seems to online today.. isit because of me ?.. if it is. im sorry.. i didnt mean to hurt u at all.. sorry.. im sorry .. will u give me a chance?.. i just need a reply.. i hope we can be like the past.. where we 1st meet in Boat Quay Town.. under the merlion.. beside the fm.. chatting cheerfully.. and now.. the ignores i get.. this chances so fast.. im disappointed.. please dont turn our friendship into strangers.. imissyou..
7:07 PM
Friday, January 16, 2009
why did u do this to me ?
why did u do this so easily?
u made it hard to smile because u made it hard to breath
why did u do this to me?
WHY DID U DO THIS TO ME?
WHY DID U DO THIS SO EASILY?
U MADE IT HARD TO SMILE BECAUSE U MADE IT HARD TO BREATH
WHY DID U DO THIS TO ME ?
why did u do this to me ?
why did u do this so easily?
u made it hard to smile because u made it hard to breath
why did u do this to me ?
why..? why must u do this to me?
u left pain in my world..
u can damage me in just 5min
and the damage take a long time to heal..
do u know how important u are to me ?
why do u hurt me again and again
dont u feel a tiny bit of pain feeling from me ?
ireallyloveyoubutyougavemenochancebuttogiveup
school as normal.. cried in math lesson.. cuz of the morning messages i send to her..
emo for the whole day ..
didnt have much appitite to eat too..
feeling very down.. just nw saw her online in maple.. kinda happy..
but in 5min time.. one heavy blow was punched into my heart..
it stop pumping..
its dead.. i guess..
walked to teban from jurong east today alone..
repeating this phrase :
'' why did u do this to me?
why did u do this so easily ?
u make it hard to smile because u made it hard to breath..
why did u do this to me ? ''
so what if im a emo fuck? do u have any fucking right to comment about me ?
look at urself before u speak. i cant control my emotion, SO WHAT? BIG FUCK?
COME PUNCH ME THAN, WAT FOR WHINING AROUND LIKE A HOUSEFLY
and u, stop pretending that u know me dam well. and stop spreading around that im EMO-ING
so what if its true, when others ask, why must u be so kpo to answer?
when they ask why, why must u at as if u told u everything.
wat do u mean by, ''he got pang seh-ed ytd, thats why now emo''
wtf is this? did i told u that? u DIDNT EVEN KNOW why i turned moody, and u goes around
telling ur STORY. i didnt got the mood to scold u, doesnt mean i dont care about that, u got it?
Labels: sick of my life..
7:15 PM
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
today school was dam bored.. 1st period of school.. nose bleed for no reason.. sms-ed a close friend of mine.. no reply.. tis morning.. i didnt receive a msg.. last night.. no messages are replied.. i really dunno wat to do.. i dunno wat happened.. what did i say or do wrong again?.. ytd.. 3 heavy blows hit directly on my heart.. 3 fatal hit.. make me couldnt sleep much.. cried on my bed.. what else can i do?.. no one understand how i feel now.. in school today.. mood was very down.. wasn't in a mood of doin anything.. i wished to quit maple.. but.. my mind is uneasy.. i dunno wat should i do.. really feeling confused.. will u tell me wat happened?..
3:56 PM
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
get really moody today again.. after so many things done.. am i just that of wat u called?.. i donwanna be that .. why? .why did u do this to me ?.. why did u do this so easily? when i tried so hard to make u happy, tried my very best to give u everything u wan.. sigh.. ppl asked me to give up.. but i dont.. i know i cannot.. i must not and i cant.. i must protect u.. if only im in that position to do that task..
this message.. is very meaningful.. hope u enjoy it ..
从前有个书生和莫家小姐私定终生。
在他们结婚的那天，
未婚妻却嫁给了别人，
痴情书生很伤心，
一病不起。
一个路过的僧人决定点化他。
僧人摸出一面镜子给他看，
书生看到茫茫大海，
一名遇害的女子没穿衣服地躺在海滩。
有一人路过，将衣服脱下给女尸盖上；
不久又一人路过，他好心地把尸体埋了。
镜里景物消失，僧人解释道：
那具女尸是你未婚妻的前世，
你是那个为他盖上衣服的路人，
她今身和你相恋，只为还你一个情。
他最终要报答一身一世的时候来来把他埋葬的那个人，
而那人就是她现在的丈夫。
书生大悟，病也好了。
“有些人在我们生命中出现，相恋然后离开，
她不是要来伤你的心，而是要还你前身的一个情。”
1:49 PM
Friday, January 2, 2009
nothin to talk about.. no mood in doing anythings.. guess that fever is coming back again.. damm..
sick and tired now.. tml than post song.. bye
10:58 PM
Thursday, January 1, 2009
tried to contact her, its very hard,, she didnt online maple, she didnt reply me in msn, she didnt reply my messages. she didnt ans my call.. im very worried for u .. i dunno if u are avoiding me or wat.. but .. juz now my nap.. i dreamt of u again.. u were very angry at me .. im very worried that something bad had happen to u.. i hope u dont avoid me .. please.. if u thinks im not good enough for u, or not suitable for u.. u can tell me .. we can still remain friends.. but please.. i beg u with both of my knee.. dont avoid me..
tis song made me emo for 2days.. enjoy..
Why by secondhand serende
Buttons on my phone are worn thin
I don't think that I knew the chaos I was getting in.
But I've broken all my promises to you,
I've broken all my promises to you.
Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe.
Why do you do this to me?
A phrasing that's a single tear,
Is harder than I ever feared
And you were left feeling so alone.
Because these days aren't easy
Like they have been once before
These days aren't easy anymore.
Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?
To me, to me, to me.
I should have known this wasn't real
And fought it off and fought to feel
What matters most?
Everything That you feel while listening to every word that I sing.
I promise you I will bring you home
I will bring you home.
Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe Why do you do this to me?
To me, to me, to me.
3:25 PM
